Thursday, October 7, 2010

at times you gotta go without knowin' where you're goin'

Do you ever wonder if you're going to be missed?

I mean, sure, it's easy for someone to say that they will miss you when you're gone, or to call and tell you that they do miss you while you're away, but have you ever pondered if they really do? Hmm...not to say that I doubt the intentions of friends and family members who tell me that, but there are times where I wonder what it means to be missed, and I wonder if I've made enough of an impact on the lives of those around me that when I do go away, for a day, a month, a year, forever, if I leave a Jmart-shaped hole in their lives that cannot be filled by any other, a role that is dedicated specifically to me that no other soul can fill. Am I goofy enough, funny enough, smart enough, sweet enough, responsible enough, friendly enough...anything enough to actually be missed?

Ah...I was going to go ahead and delete that whole paragraph because it sounds self-deprecating and frankly, a little bit stupid. But I'm leaving it, because those are thoughts I've thought and feelings I've felt and in a way I think it'd be untrue to me and the purpose of this blog to go back and erase them. To hit delete would be to betray my feelings- sometimes you know it's silly to think or feel a certain way, but your heart and your head don't always match. Isn't it better to honour how you feel and deal with it? So there. It's a silly rant, but it's out in the universe.

To end this thing on a more positive note, I had the best day off ever, and now have new hair. Phase one of transformation= complete.

And it's t-7 days until the move.

Phase two of transformation is rapidly approaching. The nerves are climbing, but so is my level of excitement. Beware, world, Jmart's on her way.

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